


who takes crumbs when presented with cake?

by pinkwar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, But it's British swearing so that's ok, F/M, Fem!Harry, Female Harry Potter, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Harriet Potter - Freeform, Romance, Swearing, brief smutism nothing to racey, may be depends how you interpret it, snarriet, snarry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-15 09:52:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15410331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkwar/pseuds/pinkwar
Summary: An evening on the elf wine leads to a night of passion between Severus and Harriet but in the light of  early morning Severus knows he ought to get her out of his rooms as fast as possible before he ends up hurt, but will he manage it with out hurting her instead? And just what will Harriet have to say about what he plans to do?





	who takes crumbs when presented with cake?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there every one just a brief note I hope you’ve enjoy this story and constructive criticism is more than welcome. This is the first thing fanfiction or otherwise I have ever written outside of a school. 
> 
> I have been reading fanfiction for a very long time but have never attempted to write one until now. On another note I did suffer and have mostly over come severe dyslexia ( I couldn’t read till I was 10) so if you find spellings or grammar that aren’t quite right please let me no and I will try to correct them.
> 
> Right now that’s over I'm going to go and hide behind a tree and hope I don’t get pelted with tomatoes if this turns out to be bad  
> see ya :)

Who takes crumbs when presented with cake?

 

 

 

 

The Light pink fingers off an early dawn, gradually clasped themselves around the two peacefully sleeping occupants of the soft double bed in the potion masters chambers. The identity off the two occupants was sure to shock the many castle’s younger inhabitants and perhaps some off the older ones too, when inevitably news would travel about the DADA teacher and the potions master as secrets often do in Hogwarts but for now the couple remained oblivious to the world outside their contented embrace in each others arms and that is where our story begins

 

“uuurrrrm” I feel warm and content and for a second I don’t understand why, I am used to feeling cold and alone much as my personality deserves yet I feel.. well I don’t really no that I want to name what I'm feeling, but its certainly pleasant none the less, for the moment I choose not to dwell on the why and instead bury my self further in to my pillow. However as I shift I feel the warm skin of another person in my bed, my eyes pop open instantly and I come face to face with a sleeping Harriet potter.

 

Suddenly the feeling I choose not to name and the warmth in my usually lonely bed suddenly makes sense to me, I am left with a dawning feeling of dread and the sudden loss of that pleasant feeling of a few seconds ago. I rack my mind for what has led to this predicament I find my self in. It takes several seconds for my mind to play catch up with the events of last night. I am suddenly left feeling cold in my warm bed.

 

Oh no what the hell have I done, as I try to piece together the events of last night in some sort order in my panicked head, they play across my mind with a certain clarity that is disconcerting to say the least. But after what seems an eternity but likely only seconds I get my answer for how I came to be in bed with the newly minted 19 year old DADA teacher, I groan internally. Shit I never should have indulged in so much elf wine, especially while I had Harriet for company, it has a nasty habit of ruining my occlumency barriers and letting my true emotions come through more than I would ever permit normally. As I try to sort through what to do about last night the images come again unbidden. I seem unable to stop them from weaving through my mind like a muggle film.

 

 

_Me sitting near the crackling fire with harriet across from me the firelight dancing enticingly across her vibrant emerald eyes. Her suddenly leaning close to me to look over my shoulder at a book I just got, hair lovely dark thick hair brushing softly against the side of my face as she leant even further forward. The feel of her small hand placed gently on my shoulder for support as she leans. Me looking to the side to get a closer look at her face only to find those arresting eyes staring in to my very soul. Her biting her plump red lip and coming closer to my face, me leaning towards her._

 

_I make the first move I think but I can’t be completely sure next thing I know we are sharing a tentative kiss, when she doesn't pull away I remember I pressed my suit, and deepened the kiss till I could do nothing more than cling to her and pull her over the edge of the chair and in to my waiting lap. My hands found her hair then as the kisses continued, next thing I’m aware of is her plump lips on my neck sucking and kissing as lightly as a butterfly but all the more arousing for it, she seems fascinated with my scars. I pulled her head away from my neck and looked deep in to her eyes my hands still in her soft hair. Her eyes had gone so dark with desire by this stage they looked more like holly than there usual vibrant emeralds. I pulled her back in for a kiss and everything after that is more a blur of sensation, a pull of clothing, a tug of teeth, the went feeling of lips against mine, the pure silk softness of her bare shoulder under my mouth and the pleasing suppleness of her bare peachy bum in my hands, I stood with her then and made my way to the bedchamber, her lips were on mine once again and I was loath to remove mine from hers. As I set her on the bed I am aware I am still fully clothed while she is unashamedly naked. As I divested my self slowly of my robes harriet ever the inpatient gryffindor, got up from the bed and started stripping me with quick and startling efficiency, I am positive those robes are now missing buttons but at the time I certainly didn’t care._

 

_With me now as fully unclothed as she was, we lost our selves to the heated kisses once more. A caress down a fluttering side, the feeling of her fingers running along my ribs. The hard peak of a nipple running across my chest as she writhes under me. The quite gasp in my mouth as my fingers find her damp centre and my more audible groan in to her neck as her hand finds my hard heat in return. Everything after than is dampness, heat, stickiness, overwhelming desire to claim. As we lay there panting and trading lazy kisses darkness starts to claim me and I know no more as I drift in to pleasant sated sleep._

 

The bedchamber is reasonably light currently and I can see every eyelash as they splay against her dusky pink cheeks and the slow bruising hickey blooming on her neck, she is still sleeping the slumber of the contented and unaware of my internal crisis at what I have done. As slow as possible trying not to rouse my slumbering lion, I disentangle my self from her arms and quietly slip from the bed.

 

I stand for a second just watching hoping I have not disturbed her before I am ready to face this.

 

However when I go to move from the edge of the bed where I'm stood, fate must decide it time to have her fun with me for the day, as a pair of beautifully emerald green eyes open blearily and look directly at me.

 

I freeze again hoping that she’ll think it part of a dream and drift off back to sleep, alas I'm out of luck today it seems.

 

“se’vrus?” there's a slight slur to her words as she’s yet to fully wake it seems and despite the situation I can’t help but feel that she sounds adorable.

 

I give my self a mental slap I shouldn’t be finding her adorable I need to move, I need to distance myself from this.

 

However as I open my mouth to give a sarcastic sneer and a mouthful of scorn, that's sure to get her up and running out of here faster than I can blink, my mouth decides it likes a different idea “good morning”. WHAT no I want her gone not starting inane conversations … Don’t I? Well not really no but any other alternative leads to nothing but pain for me now or in the future and that is unacceptable.

 

I watch as she stretches her arms upward and the sheet dips dangerously low for my sanity revealing far to much pale skin that I have to ignore “urrrmmm good morning severus, where are you off to it’s still early?”. That contented groan is near my undoing and brings forth the salacious memories again for a second I am quite lost.

 

“I …” I want you is what I want to say, I want you gone is what I ought to say but what comes out is neither of those things.

 

“I'm just going to the bathroom” “oh, well don’t take to long it’s cold in here” and with one last look at me buries her enticing skin back under sheets of slytherin green. I nod at her in a daze of thoughts and quickly leave temptation behind.

 

Once safely in the bathroom I start to think about what I need to do. I don’t want to send her packing far from it I want to bury my self in her arms again and not let go. But what else can I do but try to get rid of her first, she’ll realise eventually that last night was a mistake on her part weather that's in an hour once she’s more awake and the elf wine fully leaves her system or in weeks when she’s fully come to her senses, either way it will hurt me terribly and given that her rejecting me is inevitable where does that leave me? With no choice it seems.

 

But being told I'm not wanted by the woman I have come to care so deeply for in the last few months., oh who am I kidding I have cared for her for years. I know she wouldn’t be deliberately callus about rejecting me she is not her father after all, but her being gentle about it would in its own way be almost worse, I can just imagine it now “sorry about last night Severus I had a bit to much wine I hope you understand I’d rather just be friends it was the alcohol talking”. No I need to be the one to make the break otherwise there's no way I could save face I mean there's no way last night was anything other than a heinous mistake on her part.

 

Belatedly I realise I’ve been pacing for however long I’ve been lost in my own head, I stop and stare at my self in the mirror on the wall, dungeon lighting does no one any favours but me least off all. As I look all I can see is sallow skin from to little sunlight, lank thin hair that hangs around my face in an unkempt mess, (courtesy of last nights endeavours), deep navy almost black eyes that glitter coolly in my face and a far to hooked nose courtesy of my thrice damned muggle father, and to top it all off I am 20years her senior, what could she possibly see in me, as I continue to glare at my reflection I note that miss potter is not the only one with extra decoration this morning and see a small bruise at the base of my throat just over my scars.

 

Shaking my head in hopes of clearing it, I continue to look at my reflection, though I am no longer seeing it I am so lost in my own thoughts, as I continue to stare blindly at myself my thoughts screech to a sudden and clarity inducing halt. I know why I let last night go so far I want harriet in every way possible plain and simple, but when you know all your going to be given is crumbs in your life you take the cake when offered even if you know you’ll end up with stomach ache later.

 

I come crashing back out of my head when I hear a tentative tapping at the door, “severus are you alright?, you’ve been in there ages?”, I glance up at the door alarmed, shit I’ve got no choice I've got to say something to get her to leave before this goes any further.

 

I just don’t know what to say, but then the devil on my shoulder sits up and with my stomach feeling like I've suddenly full of lead I realise the only thing I can do is act like the greasy bastard everyone expects me to be. It’ll hurt her off that I have know doubt but at the moment I can’t think of another plan I feel like a cornered animal. At least this way I won’t be stuck waiting for the other shoe to drop and perhaps in time I may be able to gain her friendship back although I don’t doubt that will be some time coming. With my last ounce of resolve and my occlumency barriers as good as I can get them, especially with some of the wine buzz still lingering, I put on my best sneer and head for the bathroom door, just as harriet, apparently having had enough of waiting for an answer starts to open the door.

 

I pull the door open so hard that she startles badly and ends up on her bum on the cold stone floor. She’s wrapped in one of the green sheets off the bed and its draped around her like a toga, at the moment she really does look like a thoroughly dishevelled goddess to me, her clothes must still be in sitting room where I removed them last night.

 

We stare at each other for the moment I am trying to stop the more than pleasant memories from last night once more resurfacing, when I notice (against my will) that the toga has slipped slightly in her fall, and she is staring at me in bewilderment, perhaps wondering why I look like I'm about to give her a detention for butchering a potion. As she starts to stand from her fallen position I make to offer her a hand but then stop myself before I can, you need to act detached severus I remind myself sharply.

 

“you need to leave” I sneer as coldly as possible

 

She’s off the floor now and fixing her sheet her head comes up so fast at this statement that I worry for her neck. Her wide earnest eyes contemplate me like she can’t understand what’s going on and I suppose I can’t blame her for that, I note absently her hair is still beautifully mussed from last night and I long to put my fingers in it.

 

“what?”

Those eyes are currently bewildered but that will change soon enough I'm sure, as much as it pains me to, I put on my best potion masters voice and decide to go in for the kill so I repeat my self with as much detriment and sneer in my voice as I can manage.

 

“I said you need to leave potter or was the fucking I gave you last night enough to knock what little brains you have out of your head”

 

As I say this and watch her eyes widen with hurt, my stomach really starts to churn. I am vaguely aware that all this is being played out while I am not wearing a scrap of clothing. I quickly grab the robe from the back of the bathroom door and put it on. I would prefer my full set teaching regalia for this conversation to act as some sort of shield, I wouldn’t feel so vulnerable but needs must and this is currently the best thing at my disposal.

 

As I finish tying my robe and look up, it seems what I've said has finally sunk in, her eyes her lovely green eyes which were bewildered moments ago now show anger and indignation, and if I'm not mistaken a slight sheen of hurt. This I can handle well not the hurt so much but certainly the other emotions, and let it not be said that I have ever backed down from a fight.

 

“what the hell do you mean by that”

 

The last word is more or less a hiss and for a brief moment wonder if she may be slipping in to parseltongue.

 

“Exactly what I said potter I gave you a good fucking last night and I expected you to be gone before I woke. Since you have been so rude and pigheaded as to feel you have the right to darken my rooms with your presence in the morning hours, I am now telling you, I want you to take your things and leave, preferably before the rest of the castle wakes, and finds out how willing you are to whore yourself out to the male staff members, I for one don’t want to be implicated with you in that manner”.

 

I don't realise that perhaps I've gone a bit to far with my words, until I feel the unmistakable sting of an open palmed slap to my right cheek.

 

“You bastard how can you say that to me how can you be so callous!”

 

She stands before me clearly fuming with a glare that could melt metal. As I put a hand up to my stinging cheek I glare back with what I hope is equal fervour.

 

“I say _**it**_ because its the truth miss potter, your clearly a very willing bed partner, otherwise last night wouldn’t have happened, who am I to say no to sex when offered up so freely, you’ve clearly got a knack for it, tell me miss potter is it only the staff that you offer your services to or are you offering it to the students at a discounted price as well”.

 

 

 

 

I see the next slap coming before it happens and I grab her thin bird like wrist in my hand before she can follow through with another.

 

“you fucking bastard let me the fuck go right now”

 

“no I don’t think I will miss potter you got the first one in for free but I am not willing to take a second slap to the face from the likes of you”.

 

She’s spitting and hissing a blue streak, like an angry cat, as I continue holding her wrist probably just this side of to hard I start to frog march her back to the sitting room where last night’s events played out.

 

As we go down the corridor I note that the verbal tirade that would make most Knockturn residents blush has all but stopped. I look down at her face, just as we enter the sitting room, and walk in to the murky early morning dungeon sunlight I can make the glinting of silent part-shed tears coming down her beautiful face.

 

My heart shatters and I feel like such a bastard but what can I do, I can’t stop now I feel like I've already come to far. Perhaps if she hadn’t pushed and come to the bathroom I could've found a more gentle way instead of having to use this half baked idea.

Once near the large stone fire place that dominates much of my small sitting room, I release her wrist, this causes her to stumble forward slightly, clearly not expecting to be so suddenly let go.

 

She turns to look at me as catches herself on a chair, she’s glaring as she absently rubs at her abused wrist. The strange thing is although she’s glaring the rest of her face is quite devoid of emotion. You can usually tell much about her thoughts through her varied expressions, but right now the shutters are firmly down and all I can see is hate. I suppress a shiver at the look and press on.

 

“well pick up your clothes and get out I have wasted enough valuable brewing time on you today and I have no wish to waste more”.

 

 

I continue to rub my wrist as I turn to pick up my clothes off the floor. I don’t know what to say or do or think. Last night was so magical for me and now I feel like the rug has been puled from under me and I've been kicked in the gut for good measure. I just don’t know what happened between severus standing next to the bed looking blank but otherwise fine to the hateful speech he’s he started to spew after opening the bathroom door.

 

I can feel his eyes boring in to my back as I reach for my bra (which has ended up over one of the fire pokers some how). When I have everything in my arms and turn back to face him and I find him looking at me with a stare that could freeze lava.

 

What have I done?, With one last look I start to leave trying to keep as much of my dignity intact as I can, well as much as one can wearing nothing but a sheet. Just as I reach the door I hesitate can I really go with out an explanation? Do I really even want one? he’s clearly regretting last night on some level even if at them time he seemed more than invested in it.

 

 

 

As I continue hesitate he voice comes from behind me not angry or even sneering its completely devoid of all emotion as if nothing about me matters to him in the slightest.

 

“well miss potter I haven’t got all day for you to stand there dithering like some dunderheaded first year”

 

And that does it I was prepared to walk away and hope that this was just some mistake that we could fix in time, once he got over whatever his issue is. Whether it’s because he’s got spooked or just decided that sex with me is mediocre at best and not worth the hassle I don’t know but I had thought that once I got over the sting and indignation of his words we could at least go back to being friendly colleagues if nothing else.

 

However I have had enough of this attitude, treating me like I'm nothing more than some flobberworm mucus he’s found on his shoe that's not even worth the effort to scrape off. As the anger I felt out side the bathroom returns full force I stoke it to new levels of intensity. He wants to treat me like shit does he, well I'm not going to take it lying down. This anger is good I can use this. In a fit of pique I turn quickly back towards him and throw my clothing on the floor at my feet. As I stalk back towards severus on the other side of the room I am pleased to note that he takes a wary step back although the cold mask of indifference doesn't shift. The closer I get to him I start to talk in a low hiss.

 

“you know what severus I couldn’t care less whether I'm keeping your greasy bastard self from something, although what that could be I have know idea. You have no friends, no family and its not like even you, ever the insomniac brew potions at half five in the morning. What I do care about is that you are treating me like a piece of mother fucking mucus that you’ve just scraped of the bottom of your shoe, I care that you are only the second time I have EVER slept with anyone in my life, I care that you don’t even have the decency as my supposed friend or even a work colleague to just tell me that you regret last night in simple terms and let me leave with out all this pain, I care that I have cared for you since I was 16 god dam years old, I have had a crush on you since I was 17 and I have BEEN IN LOVE with you since I was 18. I care that I might have lost a friend through a bad decision and that said friend is making this more painful than he needs to, and I care that as soon as the going get tough and your world view has to shift to accommodate it, the first thing you decide to do is resort to being a bastard, shout at me in cruel manner and call me a WHORE!”

 

I see him flinch as I shout the last word I am now right in his face and I am sure the volume has hurt his ears. Good my wrist is still smarting from where he grabbed it.

 

“well come on then severus tell me what the fuck your problem is. Have you in the light of day decided that I'm not a good enough to fuck. Have these past few years of growing closer and of a friendship that has gradually developed all been a lie and now you’ve got what you wanted out of me I’m no longer any use to you? So lets throw her on the trash heap. Or have you decided that now you’ve had the opportunity to fuck something that looks as much like lilly as you can get that I didn’t live up to the hype you’ve built in you HEAD!”.

 

I pause to get my breath back I’m so angry I realise belatedly that my chest is heaving with every word, I look up in to severus’s face and see that a crack has appeared in his demure I wish I didn’t have to hurt him to get my answers but he’s hurt me so badly already and I want to no why he’s treated me like this. But he has remained tight lipped and completely silent through out my rant.

 

“well come on then severus” I realise i’m goading him but I don’t know how else to get answers. “you were quite vocal with your thoughts when trying to get me out of your rooms, now I want an explantation for what the hell I've done to be treated the way you have treated me in the past ten minutes”. I pause waiting to see if a response comes but nothing does and I feel the last of any restraint left break.

 

“WELL TELL ME FOR FUCK SAKE”

 

when it seems no answer is still not going to be forthcoming, I go to turn from him. Suddenly there is a pair of hands holding me in place and I can no longer move away from him I look up in to his face and see that finally there is some emotion showing although what that emotion is I am unsure.

 

 

 

I cannot take the words she’s throwing at me each new statement is like a dagger to my heart, I hate that she thinks she was inadequate because of my actions, she was far from it, I hate that she thinks me so callous that I would cultivate a friendship just to get into her pants, but what hurts the most is that she might think that I am using her as a replacement for lilly. Much as I loved lilly it was nothing compared to what I feel for harriet. Her last shouted exclamation seems to echo around the chamber and as she turns away from me in the ensuing silence, I am struck with the thought that if I don’t do something I will have lost her in any capacity forever.

 

As much as that was the plan I realise that I can’t bare to loose even the tentative friendship we have built, I suddenly realise losing even that would break me. Watching the fallout from my actions this morning has been near enough, to slay me where I stand, if it wasn’t for my barriers it almost certainly would have done.

 

So with out thinking and before she can get to far away from me I grab both her upper arms in my long fingers and halt her before she can leave, this close to her I can feel her warmth and I can smell my scent mixed in with her normal aroma of violets and vanilla that seems to cling to her constantly. We’re both silent for the moment her breathing has eased but looking in to her eyes I can see the hurt I have caused with my actions and wish I hadn’t gone down this route in the first place.

 

Softly as I feel any louder might spook her I break the silence we’re shrouded in

 

“what do you want me to say harriet?”

 

“i want an explanation severus, I want to know why you tried to throw me out like some errant prostitute as soon as you came out the bathroom, I want to know if sleeping with me was really so bad, that as soon as you have the chance you want me gone as quick as possible in order to forget. What have I done severus, to deserve this treatment at your hands this morning. If nothing else I deserve an explanation as your friend”

 

I remain silent trying to process what she's said and think of what to say in turn, I am so caught in my thoughts I almost miss the softly spoken

 

“at least I thought we were friends”

 

with these quietly uttered words, I am truly done with this charade, I have nothing to offer her but the truth painful though it will undoubtedly be for me

 

taking a steadying breath I hope my dignity will not be completely trampled under foot

 

“harriet where do I start, first let me dissuade from this foolish notion that what I did with you last night was in any way anything other than the best sex I have had in my life”

 

she looks up then and I can see there is some emotion other than anger and hurt starting to appear at that statement

 

“secondly I have not cultivated such a hard won friendship with you, in order to bed you as much as you may not believe now, that you have matured I very much relish your company, thirdly where have you got this stupid notion that you are any way shape or form a replacement for your mother” she looks back down at this statement so I take a hand off her arm and lift her chin with one of my fingers “you harriet jasmine potter are so much more than a copy of your mother to me”

 

she searches my face for a moment

 

“well then this makes even less sense why did you do all this to me this morning?”

 

I sigh in frustration and release her chin

 

“you have to understand harriet as much as I didn't want to, I had to break this off before it started between us. Think about what people would say, I am neither handsome nor have I a pleasant personality, I turn people away in droves, I am a ex-death eater, I am the hated potions master of Hogwarts and to top it all off I'm 20 years your senior and your ex teacher to boot. Can you imagine the scandal no one would believe that there had been nothing nefarious going on between us while you were a student, your reputation would be in tatters with in the week just think about it harriet you don’t want those type of whispers following you around!”

 

“I don’t care what people say or whisper behind there hands severus, it doesn't matter to me I've had to put up with it before I can again”

 

“well I do care what people say about you, about us”

 

she rips her arm out of my hand then and turns away, when she turns back she furious once more and has tears staining her pink cheeks once more

 

“WHY, why do you care what they say severus surely going out with me isn’t that shameful that you can’t even stand a few whispered lies, why do you…..”

 

“BECAUSE YOU’LL COME TO RESENT ME, that’s why. I can’t stand the thought of you hating me, not any more” I give a mirthless chuckle (well you’ve certainly gone a long way to getting her to hate you this morning you arsehole I think to myself0

 

she stays in front of me just processing my words I wonder if perhaps she’s finally understood I stay looking at her while she process’s her thoughts

 

“why do you think I would resent you severus, I mean I certainly resent you for what you’ve done to me this morning but why would I resent you over a few lousy whispers?”

 

I sigh she’s still not getting it, perhaps I really do need to spell it out. I look away then not sure if I can say this next part while watching the dawning realisation on her face that what I'm saying is right and that she is better forgetting this, thing that has occurred between us.

 

I feel her small delicate hand touching my face and I have to look at her again, look in to her beautiful eyes. I put my hand on top off hers and caress her fingers where she’s touching my face “severus please why do you think I would resent” I take a deep shuddering breath and realise that nothing other than laying my darkest fears at her feet is going to get her to understand.

 

I watch severus take a shuddering breath in like he’s composing himself. I’m fascinated as all of a sudden he seems to fold in on his own frame like all the fight has suddenly left him, he sinks to the floor and I follow closely I am not letting him get out of this, not this time, not when I'm so close to an explanation for all this pain he seems to have caused us both.

 

“Harriet the truth is I care for you so deeply, but I know that if I try to keep you one day your current infatuation will wane, and the things that people will say about us will suddenly start to register with you and start to grate. I don’t want to suddenly look at you one day after seeing days, weeks, months, years however long of love and then find you looking back at me with resentment about about one thing or another. Whether its from the salacious rumours that will come to pass or because one day you’ll realise that as much as you thought otherwise I am not an object off beauty or perhaps you’ll finally get fed up with my personality that leaves so little to be desired. Or it might simply be that one day you’ll wake up still in the flush of youth and wonder why you are attached to a man of ever increasing years. If any or all of these situations came to pass and you were to suddenly look me in the eye one day and I could see nothing but hate, disgust or resentment it would break me, it would break me beyond repair.”

 

As I have been watching severus during this I am somewhat alarmed to note there is a sheen of tears in his eyes as well as a look of pure bone deep resignation to a lost situation.

 

“When I woke up this morning I felt so content before I opened my eyes and then I woke fully and saw you, I realised what we’d done and what you might think when you yourself came to your senses and I started to panic and when you woke I couldn’t think what to do other than hide in the bathroom and panic and try to come up with a plan to get you to leave before I got hurt.

I came to the conclusion that if I got rid of you now even if I lost your friendship through it I would at least be protected from such future crushing disappointment.”

 

I watch him shake his head and offer up a wry turn of his thin lips

 

 

“You have to understand harriet if I kept you and loved you and you left because of the reasons I've given or looked at me in such away that it was with out love, but still stayed out of duty growing more resentful each day of being lumbered with me I might as well be dead”

 

As I sit there and the silence of the dungeons wraps around us both I try to process his very long speech. To my consternation all his speech does is bring up another unanswered question.

 

“But I don’t understand if you felt this way why did you let me take it so far last night I would have stopped even with the drink in my system I would've if you’d asked I wouldn’t have liked it but I would’ve walked away so why continue?”.

 

severus lets out a mirthless self deprecating chuckle beside me that sends a chill down my spine

 

“well as I thought to my self in the bathroom earlier if you know your never going to get anything but crumbs to eat and then your offered cake you take it even if you know it’s going to give you a stomach ache”.

 

“oh severus” I can’t bear this, yes he’s hurt me badly and it will take time to get over some of what he said but... ultimately I can’t let him wallow in this I still care about him to much for that. I remove my hand from his face and tentatively wrap both my arms around his waist, my touch is feather light hoping to convey some sort of comfort to my broken snake with out spooking him. when he doesn't flinch away from me I decide to fuck it and wrap my arms around him more tightly and take the opportunity to breath him in I feel him stiffen momentarily and then relax in to me. He hasn’t pushed me away and that's a start.

 

I feel her remove her hand from my face and for a moment I panic that she’s about to leave, however the panic is short lived as I feel both her arms come around my waist with no more pressure than a butterfly wing.

 

After a beat she seems to come to a decision and her arms perceptively tighten around my waist, I stiffen momentarily but then I feel the comfort she’s conveying, comfort that I don’t deserve especially from her and I relax in to her touch as I hear her take a deep breath from her heads position under my sternum.

 

With her this close I can smell her scent and feel her warmth and I feel that as long as I live I will never find anything that can compare to her.

 

I have no idea how long we sit there shrouded in the silence of the early morning, there is no sound but that of out deep even breathing. It isn't a fraught silence or a happy one we just sit there for some indeterminate amount of time in each others arms.

 

At some stage my arms have gravitated around her shoulders and my hand is slowly, unconsciously moving up and down the bare one that isn’t covered in the green sheet.

We’re both growing cold to the touch and I am feeling my 39 years as the cold stone seeps in to my hips and back it may be summer but the dungeons are no less cold for it. Loath thought I am to break the silence I think it’s time to move.

 

As I start to shift upwards harriet looks at me, her eyes are still slightly guarded, but none of the anger is now present in them. “Severus?” there is an unasked question in her voice but I have no answers to give, silently I hold out my hand and we stand together. I don’t release her as I tug us down the hall and back in to the bedchamber.

 

We enter with out any sound other than that of our bare feet on stone, once here I take in the state of the room. Most of my clothes are scattered around in various spots, (interestingly there is a single sock hanging over the edge of the beds canopy) the green eiderdown is on the floor most likely thrown there as harriet grabbed the sheet she’s wearing.

 

As she watches I move further in to the room and put the eiderdown back on the bed as well as put the pillows back to rights, which have also fallen on the floor. With everything looking a bit more normal I silently remove my robe and climb back under the covers, once settled I hold out my hand to her and wait.

 

She looks reluctant to take it and I can’t really blame her I did call her a whore and try to throw her out wearing nothing but a sheet in some misguided attempt to protect my heart, but by some miracle she comes forward and gets in to the bed beside me, although she keeps her self wrapped in her sheet. Once settled beside me she sits there looking uncertain for a moment and then seemingly channelling her gryffindor courage she rests her head on my chest just below my chin and puts her arms around me mirroring the position we’ve not long left on the sitting room floor. I wait a beat and return the gesture by putting one of my arms around her shoulders and leaning back more comfortably in to the pillows behind us.

 

I look down at her and as my eyes trace the curve of her pale shoulder and the cascade of messy black hair that is spilling down towards her breasts, I give in to the urge I keep feeling and start to run my fingers through her mussed hair. As I start she lets out a soft sound almost a cross between a sigh and a purr and snuggles in to my chest all the further, I really hope I haven’t fucked everything up between us.

 

There is much that needs to be discussed between us, not least the hurtful things we said to each other and I still don’t believe that one day she won’t come to resent me on some level. But in the here and now with her scent surrounding me while she nuzzles the sparse hair on my chest I hope that we can sort through this mess because this morning has left one thing quite clear I no longer have the capacity to let her go.

 

With that thought running through my head I place a gentle kiss in her hair and pull her further down in to the bed with me. Its still early after all and perhaps with a bit more sleep we may be able to wake up with some better answers to the questions we will need to ask our selves.

 

As for the castle inhabitants no body seemed to question why the potions master and the DADA teacher weren’t at breakfast that morning and they wouldn’t for many weeks to come. Although it is interesting to note that at the head table unseen by the students an elf's appearance lead to many galleons changing hands amongst the staff that Saturday morning.


End file.
